Getting Back Together With Your Ex
Whenever I break off a relationship I go into a “they don’t exist anymore” mode for a while. This gives me the time I need to cry, eat chocolate and gain weight, lose that weight, cry some more and curse them to hell and back. Then and only then can I make peace with the pig, err, I mean, that wonderful person who I don’t want anymore.
Okay, it’s not a perfect system. Another reason I do this ignoring dance is to give myself ample opportunity to work through the “I want him back” feelings. Because I don’t usually give up without a fight so if we broke up for real, chances are there was a really good reason why.
This doesn’t work for everyone. During the ignoring and grieving time, some people come to the realization that what they really want is their partner back! This can be a tricky proposition, and you have to realize that sometimes it’s going to be impossible.
What are you reasons for wanting him or her back?
Those “I want him/her back” feelings I mentioned earlier can be a real pain in the butt. They can do a number on your heartstrings and make you make all kinds of excuses for the problems you were having that led to the breakup. You need to figure out (and be brutally honest with yourself here) if your desire to get back together is out of loneliness and sadness or a genuine change of heart in regards to why you initially split.
Take some cooling off time
The fact is you broke up. Even if your super confident that your ex will welcome you back no questions asked, you both just went through an emotional roller coaster. It’s all fine and dandy that you want to patch things up, but you need to take however many days or weeks you need to lick your wounds. You want to start with a clean slate and you’ll both need mended hearts to do so.
Stay calm
If you need another reason for a cooling off period, consider this. When you have the reconciliation talk with your ex, which front would you rather present? The cool, calm and rational one, or the crying, screaming, weepy mess one? Right, I thought so.
When you see him or her again, particularly if you want to tell them you want them back, you want to be at your best. Being sad and weepy like you were when you broke up will only dredge up all your break up drama, and it’ll be impossible to either one of you to imagine a happy future.
Get ready
You also need to be ready for any reaction from your ex about giving it another try. If they say yes, you need to be prepared to follow through. If you make a promise to do something like quitting smoking, then you have to back up your words with action. So be very, very sure about what you’re ready do before you ever bring it up.
If there’s a possibility of a no, brace yourself! It all depends on the circumstances of the break up, and the two people involved. If you do get shot down for round two, keep your composure. Remember, you’ve already survived a few weeks on your own, so don’t let this turn down get you down!
This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of helpful dating posts.
